The Huck’s-lepuff Cup 2019
JK Scoones reports: Caveat: All characters are used purely for writing affect and do not represent the actual characters of those referenced and not intended to cause offence. A degree of artistic license has been used therefore please be aware of nonsensical plot twists and inaccuracies.
Two seasons earlier
Div 1 Hat: Hmm...difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind, either. There’s talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?
Ralph: Not North Oxford. Not The North Oxford.
Div 1 Hat: Not North Oxford, eh? Are you sure? You could be great you know. It’s all here in your head. And The North Oxford will help you on the way to greatness! There’s no doubt about that. No?
Ralph: Not North Oxford, anything but North Oxford.
Div 1 Hat: Well if you’re sure… better be… The Old Cholmeleians!
One season earlier
Undisclosed OC: Here it is. ‘The Polyjuice Potion.’ (Reading from Moste Potente Potions) ‘Properly brewed, the Polyjuice Potion allows the drinker to transform himself temporarily into the physical form of another.’
Ralph: Do you mean, if I drink that stuff, I’ll turn into an Old Citizen for the Hucks?
Undisclosed OC: Yes.
Ralph: Wicked! The Old Citz will play you in everything.
Undisclosed OC: Exactly. But it’s tricky. I’ve never seen a more complicated potion.
Ralph: Well, how long will it take to make?
Undisclosed OC: A season.
Ralph: A season? But, Undisclosed OC, if this is the Heir of Old Citizens, they could beat half the Old Cholmeleians in the league by then.
Undisclosed OC: I know. But it’s the only plan we’ve got.
Old Cholms beat Old Citizens 3.5-2.5
Division 2 - Old Cholms beat Old Citizens 2-1
Ab.Bhattacharya & T.Lethbridge beat N.Gill & R.Morgan 3-0
D.Lioubimov & E.Scoones lost to A.Lumbard & C.Lumbard 0-3
T.Halstead & C.Duah beat B.Dovgyy & R.Morgan 3-1
Gareth Hoskins on receiving the results was astounded, “How did Ralph play twice? I see his name there! And also there! How can someone be in two league pairs at once?”
Well… here’s his secret as he was told before the second date of the fixture. “Mysterious thing, time. Powerful, and when meddled with, dangerous. The Huck’s Cup is in the topmost cell of the Scoones tower. You know the laws, Mr Morgan. You must not win the match. And you would do well, I feel, to declare yourself ineligible. If not, the consequences are too ghastly to discuss. If you succeed tonight, more than one game may be spared. Three months, should do it, I think. Oh, and by the way. When in doubt, I find losing on step to be a wise place to begin.”
Hucks Cup Day
Old Cholms draw with Old Citizens 1.5 - 1.5
C. J.Duah & C. J Davies lost to O.Hallam & N.Gill 0-3
N.Sorensen & J.Ho drew with R.Heindorff & E.Scoones 1-1
D.Lioubimov & D.Bloor-Young beat S.Kelly and S.Shah 3-0
Four Citz and eight Cholms gathered on a Sunday morning at the Highgate courts. A cloud shifted. There were suddenly dim shadows on the ground. Their party was bathed in sunlight. Hallam’s head lengthening. So was his body. Unlike Hallam who had no choice, Scoones, an ally-magus, disappeared from the Old Cholms side. She had transformed. The enormous new Old Citizens bounded forwards.
At third pair, Lioubimov and Bloor-Young had brought their Fivesbolts with them and always had an upper hand on Kelly and Shah, as nimbus as they were. They seeked victory by bludgeoning the Old Citz, who managed to get a quaffle of points in each set.
At first pair, the Old Citz managed to fight back and stupify the Cholms. With some ridikulus rallies they did not quite obliviate the pair but multiple directo pepperpotronum shots and Hallam’s wingardium leviosa height meant the match was all but lost for the Cholms.
"[The Scoones hat] only put me in first pair," said Duah in a defeated voice, "because I asked not to go in third…"
"Exactly," said Davies, beaming once more. "It is our initials, CJD and CJD, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
At second pair, each had lost one set, the match had been ongoing for ages, right... 120 minute in fact. Curiously long time for a common fives match. Heindorff-igrew had dived for Jon Ho and Nina Sorensen’s gloves. “Excellisamust” Reynolds yelled, pointing his own glove at Roman; But The Citz shot at victory flew high into the air and out of sight. “Stay where you are!’ Reynolds shouted, running forwards. Too late. Heindorff-igrew had transformed. Reynolds saw his bald hand whip through the gloves on Jon’’s outstretched arm, and heard a scurrying through the grass. (to get to the airport and back to Hamburg.)
This left the fixture tied at 1.5 all, luckily for Scoones as the second pair could have tipped the fixture to the Citz favour. With the division two win earlier in the season, the Huck’s Cup was presented to Jon Ho, having been kept in the topmost cell of Scoones’s tower, who exclaimed “I DID MY WAITING!!! TWELVE MONTHS OF IT!!! IN CUPLESSNESS!!... Finally!”. Although the Cholms had won, it was little close for comfort which warranted the following comments from the team:
“Brilliant Scoones. Once again you put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and, as usual, come to the wrong conclusion.”
“I hope you’re pleased with yourself. We could all have been killed - or worse, lost the cup. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to the pub.”
And off both the OCs for some well-earned (butter)beer in Highgate.
And so once again the competitive but friendly fixture which helps to solidify the connection between the CItizens and Cholmeleians is put to bed for this season, and the teams combine once more for Thursday practices to build up the clubs together. In essence - we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided ... Differences of habit and teams are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.
Until next year...
Thanks go to John Reynolds for helping to organise the fixture and to all players involved for a great fixture and season.